A drunk walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.”
So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, “I haven’t got it.” The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the brunette, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!”
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the
Tom drops in on the golf course wanting to play an impromptu round of golf. The golf pro explains that they’re pretty busy, but there is a woman about to tee off by herself, and if Tom hurries, he can play with her.
Tom rushes down, and asks the woman if he can join her. Mary introduces herself,
A lawyer and his Czech friend were camping in a backwoods section of Montana. One morning, the two went out to pick berries for their breakfast. They went gathering berries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately
Two blonde men were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
The other blonde guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, “Why are you throwing those nails away?”
The first
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.
She began to interview young lawyers. “As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first
It was so cold last winter, that I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets.
Q: What do you get for a friend who is graduating from Law School?
A: A Lobotomy.
Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
Q: How else do you keep a lawyer from drowning?
A: Take your foot off of his head.
Q: How do you get a lawyer
NEWS FLASH: Friday evening. A notorious murderer has just escaped from Texas State Prison. Police advise members of the public that they should not approach him at any costs, but report any sightings to their nearest police station.
NEWS FLASH: Saturday afternoon. The convict who escaped from
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. Next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
“Darn!” says the ant. “One night of passion and I spend the rest of my life digging a grave!”
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