A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked.
On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench.
“Your Honor,”
Three guys, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer were out in the woods on a scouting expedition. When all of a sudden, something quickly began to run through the brush.
The physicist observed that it behaved in a deer-like manner, so it must be a deer.
The mathematician asked the
The patient demanded, “Doc, I just must have a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart transplant.”
“WHAT?” yelled the doctor. “Tell me, exactly why you think you need all these transplants.”
“Well,” explained the patient, “my boss told me that
A travel agent looked up from his desk and saw an older lady and an older gentleman peering into the shop window, where there were posters of glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week, and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity
A young girl had been suffering from severe headaches and had tests run by her doctor. The doctor said, “I’m sorry miss, but you have a massive brain tumor.”
The girl started crying and said to her mom, “I’m only 15 years old. I don’t want to die.”
The doctor said, “Well this is modern medicine
The farmer’s son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and
Johnny Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.”
Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, boss. The wife decided to
There was a priest who went into the country to pay a visit to a 92-year-old church member. She welcomed him into the parlor. While she made tea, he looked around and saw a beautiful oak pump organ with a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it.
The bowl was half filled with water and a condom was
A visitor to a bed-and-breakfast inn in the country awoke early one morning to find the farmer and his family still asleep. Slightly irritated at not having his breakfast even begun yet, he took a glass and went out to the barn to try his hand at milking the cow himself.
Later on his way back
The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. “How are you feeling?” the visitor asked.
“Oh,” said the lady, “I’m just worried sick!”
“What are you worried about, dear?” her friend asked. “You look like you’re in good health. They are
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