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MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE OF THE DAY
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“We are no longer happy as soon as we wish to be happier.”
~ Walter Savage Landor
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A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: “Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded: “You fool; you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No” replied the trainee.
“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you idiot”
The trainee shouted back: “And do you know who you are talking to, you idiot?”
“No!” replied the Managing Director angrily.
“Thank God!” replied the trainee and kept the phone down
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Morris replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said: “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur - be careful.”
Gordon Brown was lookin for a lady of the night. He found a girl in a local pub. He said: “I’m Prime minister of England, how much would it cost me to spend time with you …?”
Her reply: “Mr prime minister, if you can get my skirt as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, your dick as hard as the times we’re living in and keep it rising like the price of petrol and screw me the way you have the pensioners - then it won’t cost a fucking penny!”
Where is the world’s fastest chicken from?
Ethiopia!
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.
A rich Beverly Hills lady got very angry at her French maid. After a long list of stinging remarks about her shortcomings as a cook and housekeeper, she dismissed the maid.
The maid, with her Gaelic ancestry, couldn’t allow such abuse to go unanswered. “Your husband considers me a better housekeeper and cook than you, Madam. He has told me himself.”
The rich woman just swallowed and said nothing.
“And furthermore,” the angry girl continued, “I am better in bed than you!”
“And I suppose my husband told you that, too?”
“No, Madam,” said the maid. “Not your husband … the mail man!”
What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?
When the power goes off.
Henri Matisse
Quote Link : Derive happiness in oneself …
More Quotes : Henri Matisse Quotations
Yo momma is so ugly, on halloween, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone!
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