Funny Stuff

He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.

Menander

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Many of the people I talk to these days have
one thing in common.
They’re waiting.
Waiting for more money to drop into their
bank accounts.
Waiting for a special relationship.
Waiting for a career they love to magically appear
while they waste years in a job they hate.
Waiting for the life of their dreams to begin.
Watch This And Quit Waiting:
http://www.goal-setting-guide.com/stop.html
It’s…

Yo momma is so fat. She doesn’t have a waistline - she has a landscape.

If our early lessons of acceptance were as successful as our early lessons of anger, how much happier we would all be.

Peter McWilliams

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetary.

Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one
of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He
asked for help & she could see why.

Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots
still didn’t want to go on. Fi

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office
supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.

“I’ll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for
visitors to register.”

“

Last October my wife bought a magnolia tree from the local nursery, but after only a few weeks the leaves shriveled. It appeared to be on its last legs. My wife took some leaf samples and marched into the nursery to demand an explanation.

“I know exactly what’s wrong with your magnolia,” said

My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had.

Nancy’s mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, “It’s true, Mom.

Think of something

A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away.

Phyllis Mcginley

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